Our lil´Christmas
by Sheltie-chan
Summary: A little piece of our insanity. Naruto characters spending Christmas with us!
1. Chapter I: Disaster

_**Chapter I.: Disaster** _

_-_

_This has been a part of my Christmas present to the friends who are occurred here. Enjoy!_

_Authoress' notes: This is gonna be really insane, so if you don't wanna read it, don't. You have better things to do indeed. If you gonna read it though, have fun. We had while writing and reading it, too. It is enacted in Bratislava, the capital of Slovakia (little state in the central Europe, we live here ya know :P )._

_Warnings: It is not beta-ed and our mother language isn't English. I tried. Massive insanity in here. Kinda AU. Original characters. Many references to other ficcies, mainly from FastForward. We'll let you know which in every case._

_Disclaimer: Naruto chars still owns K. Masashi, Kiiran owns Frozzy and we own ourselves I hope. O.o_

* * *

_Monday afternoon, at Sheltie's place:_

Sheltie came (1) from school, late as always, stepping into the door in the agony.

"Hi," she said as greeting and then she headed to the kitchen like she was dead.

"What's wrong with you this time? You look pretty upset," spoke Neji, Shel not even looked at him though.

"Wot'eva..." she blurted out and left the room.

"Tou-san, another depression is here waiting only for you..." said Neji mostly for himself and then he also left kitchen looking for a phone.

"_Yes, what do you want this time, Hyuuga?"_

"Don't be so rude, lil' Uchiha, you know how terrible my current situation is."

"_Oh, so she's got home already?"_ Neji could _feel_ the smirk through the phone.

"Yes, and she brooded like her whole family was dead... Oh, sorry, I forgot," this time the other boy was smirking. "And that bitch of yours? Is she already there abusin' ya?"

"_No... well, yes, but listen to me carefully; for first, she isn't a bitch, and for second, unlike that yours she doesn't molest me all the time."_

"Well, mine do that neither."

"_I know, I know, she only abuses you when your cousin and father aren't around..."_

"Fuck you, Uchiha," growled Neji.

"_Well, she's actually making me lunch right now..." _mocked he.

"Oh yeah, I see... and the other bitch? You know, the one who doesn't know how to cook an egg in her age..."

"_Well, she isn't mine remember. She is living with us only 'cuz my aniki, but I hope she will perish soon. She's so annoying."_

"I know. We hafta get rid of them if we wanna survive. But I have only lil' time 'till she get her normal- sumimasen, her insanity back by my father. I don't understand why the heck is he helping her, I would kill her right..." he never had a chance to finish the sentence since a terrified shiver ran through his body and he let out a silent squeak.

"Hi again, Neji..." purred his worst nightmare into his ear.

"Get the fuck off me," hissed Hyuuga in self-defense, but that didn't help him. Shel was holding him tightly around the waist, leaning against him.

"**FATHER! Get her OFF me!!!** Your brother said I am able to marry Hinata-sama if I won, (2) so **why the heck** I still have to live in one house with..." he trailed off once again as she licked his ear.

"Aaargh! **Hakkeshou KAITEN!**"

Sasuke had hung up long ago.

* * *

_Monday afternoon, at Okami's place, after the call:_

"Kukuku..." giggled Sasuke putting the phone back onto the shelf.

"What, sweetheart?"

"She is home. She launched herself at him, so I wonder how he's gonna get her off himself this time."

"Maybe some jutsu... Kaiten...?" suggested redhead as she put the pot off the stove.

"What do we have to eat?" asked the boy. Then he went back into the kitchen and sat down.

"Three guesses and two don't count," echoed deep velvety voice that signified Itachi at home, more exactly in the hall taking off his black Akatsuki cloak. The girl herself pretended to misheard it.

"When will Karai come back home?" she asked cheerfully, laying the plate with pasta in front of Sasuke.

"I hate pasta..." muttered he and picked his fork. Okami misheard it once again.

Itachi sat down beside his brother, taking the can of Zoodles (3) out of his bag and quickly removing the lid.

"Fork."

"Here, Uchiha-_sama_," said Okami not so nicely. _The heck I hate when this frigid knob (4) comes home and just orders others around..._

"So, I asked when Karai is gonna come from school today."

"I don't know." Itachi stopped and for a second considered whether to say the next sentence or not and then decided that the next sentence (unlike the last) **is** needed since noone other than he knows where the second girl is. "She has an exam, but she didn't learn anything, so she might be in school till six or so."

"What a pity."

"I hate her."

"You hate everyone and everything, foolish little brother, so don't bother and just shut up," said Itachi indifferently and poked Sasuke's forehead. (5)

"I'm not that little anymore, aniki! Do it once again and I'm gonna break your knuckles!" Itachi only smirked, Okami rolled her eyes.

"Hi, I'm home! Hey, Okami, how was... **YAY, Itachi!**" Karai launched at the man in manner so alike Sheltie's.

"You have 3 seconds to let go."

"KARAI! There! Hitsugaya! Renji! Byakuya! ICHIGO!!!" (6)

"Where?!"

One second was spent by Okami, another one by Karai comprehending what's going on and the last one by Karai again to yell "where?!" and step away from Itachi. Now he was calm and satisfied, so he returned to his Zoodles.

"Why are 'ya here so soon? What about your exam?" asked Okami because boys stayed silent.

"Oh, I haven't learnt anything so I just skipped the exam and hurried back to my Love."

"OMG."

"..."

"... . Well, Karai, wanna some pasta?"

"Again?! No, I'll just have a bite of Itachi..." Itachi stood up, picked his Zoodles up and left to his room.

"..."

"..."

"Hey wait!!!"

The other two sweatdropped.

* * *

_Monday, later this afternoon, Bratislava downtown:_

Ookami and Sheltie were sitting on the marble brim of the fountain on Hodža's square and chatted, waiting for Karai to arrive, when both suddenly spoke: "Akatsuki" and "Karai". They looked at each other quickly and then Shel jumped forward to Karai and Saniika and Okami took a step closer to the two Akatsukis.

"Hi there, chicks," one of them grinned at the girl in from of him, (7) yet he didn't recognize her. Okami rolled her eyes.

"Hi. I'm Okami, this is Shel, Karai and Saniika there. And you are Hidan and he is Kisame and please don't ask where I do know your names from." The white-haired man blinked twice and closed his gaping mouth.

"H-hi..."

"For your own good, don't come closer," warned girl, but Kisame did exactly so.

"Are ya afraid of me, lil' sardine?"

"No, that's not it - **you** should be afraid and **don't** want to find out why."

"Underestimating us? Do we have to show you our strength?" Kisame growled, probably feeling insulted by his 'lil' sardine' to doubt about the might of the great Akatsuki group.

"Nope, but you've asked for it. Hyuuga-sama?" (8)

"Yep! But they won't hold back!" Sheltie then moved a bit away and Saniika and Karai got a full view of their beloved criminals. The two men had only a second for their surprise...

The end of Chapter I.

* * *

1) I lost. Uhm, go ahead and read '**Roommates**' by FastForward if you don't know what's this about, but it's nothing important. It might appear in this fic several times yet though.  
2) Somewhat sequelling Ookami's 'Bets and winners' (my Christmas giftfic) I guess... sweatdrop  
3) Again, go ahead and read FastForward's one-shot '**The one thing he loves**'. You gonna end up ROFL.  
4) Credit for the name goes to DeGlace ('**Uneasy coexistence**' - great ficcie). Yes, it's KisaSaku, a problem?  
5) "**YOU BASTARD!!!**" Sheltie faints.  
6) I don't remember which one she likes the most... sweatdrop  
7) The pervert didn't mention me, he-he. I'm not that pretty.  
8) Okami meant me with this. She's used to call me that nowadays and I love her for it.

_Well, so whaddaya think? Yeah, maybe you haven't understood everything properly, but I tried to make it as clear as possible. It only left me to pity two poor Akatsukis... lol. Serves them right, kuku._


	2. Chapter II: Mission

**_Chapter II.: Mission_**

-

_This chapter is dedicated to Ookami. Thank you very much for supporting me!!! _

_Disclaimer:__ I dun' own Naruto characters, only my ANBU Haruka in this. Oh, and myself. _

* * *

_Monday evening, at Okami's place, before the dinner: _

"Right." There was a small pause after the masked girl said that. (1)

"OMT, (2) I'm gonna faint or something," gasped Okami with faraway look in her face.

"HELL YEAH! Shannaro!" yelled Sheltie all of sudden, all people in the room turning to her as if she was insane. Itachi's eyebrow was twitching. "That's indeed exactly what we wanted to do dattebayo! Ne, dobe?!"

"Uhm..." gasped the second girl again and discreetly retreated into the kitchen. Yes, everyone kept staring at Shel, but Team 7 was literally sending her dead glares. Sasuke spoke first:

"Let's kill her."

She sweatdropped.

"Dinner!" hollered Okami before they got a chance to even touch her friend and people left the living room gradually. Sheltie hurriedly took her seat at the table far enough from every one of Kakashi's rookies.

"What's-"

"Don't ask, dobe," cut Sasuke off his teammate. He could only hope it'll be something else then usual.

"I've cooked something special for our guests!" Sasuke's heart skipped a beat.

"Cheese sauce with... spaghetti!" Sasuke gave out a yelp before his head dropped onto the table. It wasn't the sauce with the pasta though, it was the pasta with sauce. But still it was **pasta** and he hated it.

"It was delicious, you're a great cook undoubtedly. Perhaps I should envy Sasuke-kun a little," complimented Hizashi the eaten meal, Sasuke **and** Sheltie grumbled angrily.

"I doubt about it badly," was his answer while she snapped: "No, you don't! I can cook better and I'm sure that I can make much more than pasta!"

"Prove it."

"**Neji!** You should be on my side!"

"Says who? Actually, I haven't eaten anything from you so far."

"I haven't got a time to cook!"

"You're just plain lazy."

"Am NOT!" (3)

"Neji. Don't piss her off. We both know you will regret it."

Neji just shut up. He had had his father back after ten years of missing him, so he didn't want to oppose him right now.

"Well, tomorrow **I** make a dinner!" exclaimed excited girl, still feeling underestimated and somewhat insulted by her own... urgh, boyfriend.

"Good."

"Deal."

"Well, let's see it then!" announced Neji.

"I hope it won't be pasta."

"And now - what we're gonna do?" asked Itachi, who was sitting beside Kisame. Hidan was also near them, bandaged, Karai sitting in his lap (4). Why bandaged? Well, it was told her that she shouldn't jump him back then, but who said **he** can't jump **her**? Hehe. Needless to say she wasn't against it, but a shock took its part. So there he was, his body aching, yet satisfied smirk was curving his lips as the girl seemed to be in the seventh heaven of hers.

"So what? We're gonna do what's necessary, and- well, we have planned it some time ago," admitted Okami plainly, other Slovak girls agreeing silently.

"Then if I got it right; you now gonna go to the Japan and kill him?" asked Neji with cocked eyebrow.

"Yup! ♡"

"Be silent for once please, Shel," Hizashi whispered to her. She pouted, but was strongly determined to fulfill every thing he would ask for and thus kept her mouth shut.

"You gals alright otherwise?" asked Sasuke.

"And what's your problem now, bastard?! Just let's go there and fuckin' kill him dattebayo!"

"Shut up, dobe."

"Teme!"

"Oh man, they're still like lil' kids. Hey boys, would you just stop it?!" screamed Sakura, both boys looking up at her. "Ya gonna end with this someday?" sighed she, fatigued by their never-ending quarrels.

"Sorry, Sakura-chan," blinked Naruto, dumbfounded.

"Hn. So, if I'm allowed to voice my thoughts aloud, this is **crazy**!"

"Look who's talking..."

"Shut up, Hyuuga! That is in-**fuckin'**-sane, you know! Just go there and kill him! There's no way in hell you can **just** go and kill somebody in **this** world! Damn, THIS isn't some ninja manga anymore!"

"Calm down, foolish brother. They will do what they want. There's no way you can prevent it," said Itachi, his face void of emotions, this matter obviously not concerning him in the least.

"So, are we gonna continue this debate tomorrow?" asked Okami, looking a bit tired by now.

"Yes, I guess so. There's no point to keep up this argue," reasoned Saniika, who sat besides Karai and Hidan, not that she did it willigly.

"Let's go home then," said Karai and everyone looked at her.

"Karai, you **are** at home," sighed Okami, "but you can go see Natsu and invite her to the dinner tomorrow. And be oh so nice and please remind her that now she **doesn't** have her mother at home so she can damn well just stand up and come (5). And you-" she sighed again, "...yeah, take that psycho with you. I don't wanna stay in one house with him alone."

"You wouldn't be alone, babe," stated Sasuke dryly, "but neither I'm gonna keep him in the limits of sanity as well. Maybe Itachi is, but I doubt about it."

"Can I take Kisame to home with me?" asked Saniika innocently. "...please...?"

"Oh just take it- sorry, him. But a shark should be 'it', shouldn't **it**?" asked Sheltie rudely.

"But **he** is a man, not shark," snapped Saniika quite angrily.

Kisame was stunned by how nice she was toward him... like noone else before...

"Very well... and can't you please take Naruto and Sakura, too?" asked Shel again, now fully aware of that they desperately needed to split them into their flats, or else... Well, it wasn't that big deal since all of their parents were strangely gone now, but still...

"...you have been in my place yet, haven't you? So this is irrelevant. **This** would be four people now, and well, perhaps the five of us slept there back then, but now..."

"Oh man, so one of them will just sleep on the floor. They will live."

"But our floor is damn icy! They would catch the cold!"

"I rely on you," Shel grinned.

"Whatever. I'm gonna wash up the dishes now. Someone minding help me?" asked Okami half hopefully. Everyone stayed completely silent... or not?

"Let's go. Ja ne, dobe," said Sasuke, then stood up and headed to the kitchen.

"So much for now. So, we'll see each other tomorrow at Sheltie's. And Shel; you should go home, too. You know - to cook for such an amount of people..." she grinned and then went after him.

* * *

_Monday, late evening, at Saniika's place: _

"So, what the three of you want to do before we'll go sleep?" asked Saniika when she, Kisame, Naruto and Sakura entered her small flat in one of the very edges of Bratislava.

"Uhm... have you got some ramen in there? Miso?" asked the blond boy hopefully. Saniika shrugged.

"Just maybe. If we don't, you'll have to go to the shop, you know," she smirked and put her boots and coat off herself. They did the same and then all of them went to the petite living room.

"Your house is pretty little, you know. I almost can't move here. Do you have some other, larger room?"

"No, Kisame, unfortunately I don't, but it's not my fault. If I can, I would move out or buy a new flat, but I don't have the money nor time, so you must bear with it. I believe that you guys will survive though. Feel yourselves at home. I' gonna make some food."

"Do you think she's gonna make us ramen?" whispered Naruto to Sakura, the pinkette only growled.

"How do you do it that you are **always** hungry? I absolutely don't get it!" shouted Sakura while Naruto was eating his third bowl of some cheap something reminding of ramen. (6)

"I don' unde'stan' hou ya' can not bein' a'le to eat u' two bo'ls..."

"And **shut** your mouth when you eat! Argh!" snapped she as she smacked him across the back of his head, Naruto spilling the half-chewed noodles effectively over the whole table and -since it was as tiny as it was- over the practically half of the kitchen, too.

Sakura blinked twice.

The chakra of death began to radiate off the certain girl who owned the place.

Everything stayed silent since...

"**GET the fuck OUTTA HERE!!!** Out. Of. My. Kitchen!!!" Yes, the raven girl exploded, although she didn't use to, and almost kicked two of them out into the living room. _And now I have the entertainment for the entire night. I fuckin' hate this!_

"You are Saniika, right? Can I help you in way or another?" asked Sakura shyly, obviously feeling pretty bad about what had just happened.

"Oh, thanks, but it isn't needed really. Just go back into the living room and don't..."

"I **want** to help you. It was my fault, so I want to know what I can do to make it easier to you. I don't intend to bother though..."

The atmosphere was somewhat awkward, but finally Saniika spoke:

"Well, yes. If you would just wash the dishes, and I will take care of the rest of the caused mess."

"Good, thanks. If you'll need help with something then tell me," offered Sakura and took a few steps to the cupboard.

After the ten minutes or so girls finally returned to the room where both boys were sitting on the sofa. They visibly hadn't said anything yet and thus there was awkward hush waiting to be broken.

"Well, uhm... I... I'm sorry..." muttered Naruto coyly, "I didn't intend to make you a trouble..."

"It's okey, we've cleaned the place, but don't you dare to repeat it," threatened Saniika. "And now - who do you want to sleep? Sakura first for being a lady."

Kisame rustled, but said nothing. Kyuubi boy only shot Sakura a look.

"Well... it doesn't really matter to me... Ask one of them. I don't mind sleeping on the floor if necessary."

"So? Any suggestions?" asked the host again, guests only shrugged. "Would you please be so nice and communicate with me? Else **I** will decide and you may not like it. Tell me while you have a chance dammit!"

Everyone only shrugged again.

"Well, Kisame? You are the oldest here-"

"Why everyone always ignores me? You've asked Sakura and also Kisame but not me dattebayo! Why?!"

"Look here, shrimp, I asked you and you must've been deaf if you haven't heard the question '**Any** suggestions'! So don't fret here on me!" Naruto sat stock-still, then got back his confidence and pouted, but still remained silent.

This was really getting on her nerves. Naruto - well, he was cute in anime indeed, but she never could have though that she would hate him as much as she did right now. Sakura - she may be sorta goose, but she was nice and aspiring and she loved her as much as he hated Naruto at the moment. And Kisame- _Kisame!!!_

"So what? I suggest that me and Sakura will sleep up in the bed, Naruto here on the sofa and Kisame, well..." she trailed off. Honestly, she wasn't quite fond of the idea that Kisame will sleep on the cold floor, but she didn't want to sleep like this and neither to let the kids sleep in such a manner.

"I'm cool with that," shark-man stated.

"Yes, the sharks are used to have a cold-blood anyway dattebayo..."

"Cut it out!" exclaimed Saniika once again. "Sakura?" asked girl turned to her, "would you want some else piece of garment for sleep?"

"Uhm, well, some pyjamas or a wide T-shirt would be fine..."

"Good. I will leave it in bathroom for you along with some fresh towel, yes? Are you two going to wash yourselves, too?"

"Uhm, no I guess... Tomorrow it will be enough dattebayo," said Naruto, grinning sheepishly. Sakura had a different opinion though.

"No, Naruto, you're gonna shower, too. Don't be such a pig."

"And you?" turned Saniika to Kisame.

"I like water."

* * *

1) My character. You'll hear about her yet again.  
2) Ookami's "Oh-my-teddy" O.o;;;  
3) Oh yes I am and he knows it. Don't tell anyone :P  
4) Man help me somebody! How to say that she is sitting on his legs?  
5) I lost.  
6) In our beloved Slovakia, we call it 'Chinese (noodle) soup'. Yes, you can buy ramen in this country, but only in few shops specialized for oriental stuff. It usually costs somehow about 40 Skk (150 yen / 1,14 Euro / 1,42 USD) while the Chinese soup costs only about 6 Skk (25 yen / 0,17 Euro / 0,21 USD). So much about our 'ramen'. 


	3. Filler I: Wild evening by Okami

**_Author Note: _****Hello my youthful vigorous friends! I'm here to enjoy my height of youth and love together with yours!!! You mustn't be afraid!! It's all right! We're gonna see the sunset together!!! cough I'm sorry, I couldn't let this chance to terrify you let go… ne? ran away from fear Anyway, this is for my dear dear Karai-chan for her little Christmas!! Enjoy! **

**_Warnings: _****Language, Hidan, het, insanity, violence – not really **

**_Disclaimer:_**** Now, Hidan is one of those chars I _don't want to _own, so he's still Kishi's, although I plan to steal him for Karai. **

**- **

_**Filler**** I.**_**_: Wild Evening_**

-

_by Okami_

-

_Bratislava__, Hodža's square  
_  
When she spotted him, it was too late – for both of them. She at least heard "Don't jump him, Karai!" when something – or, rather – someone jumped _her._ Yes, she knew it was one of her beloved Akatsuki's, but still. The shock took its part. Karai stood from the ground like rapid-fire and kicked Hidan into stomach. Then into the crotch, backhanded him and punched to face. In that moment Hidan finally remembered that he's part of GREAT AKATSUKI, next rulers of the World and that now is poor girl beating the unholy shit from him. When Hidan tried to punch Karai back in thoughts that she attacked him on purpose, Sheltie remembered that _she_ hates Hidan and grabbed him by hand and yanked off Karai with hiss.

"_Touch her and you're fuckin' dead._" What was weird was that Hidan immediately understood only by looking into Sheltie's face. Killing hatred radiated from her, but Karai stopped her from killing her love.

"Let him go," said she, while Okami was swearing about Kisame's 'lil sardine'. Saniika attached herself at the shark's hand and didn't want to let go in any matter at all. But back to Karai and Hidan. Karai stared at him in disbelief while he was checking his damaged hair in small hand-mirror. Then he smiled a 'colgate-smile' (1) and his white teeth competed with his white hair. But Karai didn't mind. He was here and her.

* * *

_At Okami's and Karai's place _

"Let's go home then," said Karai and everyone looked at her.

"Karai, you **are** at home," sighed Okami, "but you can go see Natsu and invite her to the dinner tomorrow. And be oh so nice and please remind her that now she **doesn't** have her mother at home so she can damn well just stand up and come. And you..." she sighed again, "...yeah, take that psycho with you. I don't wanna stay in one house with him alone."

"You wouldn't be alone, babe," stated Sasuke dryly, "but neither I'm gonna keep him in the limits of sanity as well. Maybe Itachi is, but I doubt about it."

"Can I take Kisame to home with me?" asked Saniika innocently. "...please...?"

"Oh just take it- sorry, him. But a shark should be 'it', shouldn't **it**?" asked Sheltie rudely.

"But **he** is a man, not shark," snapped Saniika quite angrily.

Kisame was stunned by how nice she was toward him... like noone else before...

"Very well... and can't you please take Naruto and Sakura, too?" asked Shel again, now fully aware of that they desperately needed to split them into their flats, or else... Well, it wasn't that big deal since all of their parents were strangely gone now, but still...

"...you have been in my place yet, haven't you? So this is irrelevant. **This** would be four people now, and well, perhaps the five of us slept there back then, but now..."

"Oh man, so one of them will just sleep on the floor. They will live."

"But our floor is damn icy! They would catch the cold!"

"I rely on you," Shel grinned.

"Whatever. I'm gonna wash up the dishes now. Someone minding help me?" asked Okami half-hopefully. Everyone stayed completely silent... or not?

"Let's go. Ja ne, dobe," said Sasuke, then stood up and headed to the kitchen.

"So much for now. So, we'll see each other tomorrow at Sheltie's. And Shel; you should go home, too. You know - to cook for such an amount of people..." she grinned and then went after him. (2)

* * *

_The same evening, at Natsu's _

"Omg, Karai what-" asked Natsumi but didn't finish her statement because she spotted Hidan and screamed something like "GYAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! What the fuck is he doin' here?! Did he rape you??? Kidnapped you!? Why didn't Itachi help you??! Why- ngmunnfffhgh…" Karai stopped her yelling with hand on Natsu's mouth.

"He didn't do anything to me. You should rather ask what _I_ did to _him_. And we're here on a secret mission which Okami gave us," explained Karai and Natsu's eyes widened. Karai let her go and Natsu took deep breath before saying:

"Oh. I'm sorry, then. But I still don't like you," she glared at the poor Hidan who was barely standing and every bone in his body ached thanks to Karai. "What mission?" finished Natsumi.

"That you should come tomorrow to dinner to Sheltie's place… You know, she argued with Neji and ended up cookin' for us," grinned maniacally Karai. Before Hidan's eyes were dancing black blurs and he knew that's not good. "Oh, and she's telling you that now when you don't have your mother at home, you should stay longer… and maybe you can also take some people to yours, 'cause we already don't have the needed space… Ehehe…" Karai and Natsumi sweatdropped. In the same second Hidan's body decided it had had enough and the white haired man fainted.

"Oh fuck!" was last he heard.

"No, he's not staying here!!! By any chance!! Never!!" the brunette girl was really furious by now and Karai didn't say anything since that fatal words:

"Couldn't you let him here-?" Natsumi didn't want to even hear about it, not to actually _do _it. But after Natsumi's five minutes of rage, Karai, absolutely pissed off, yelled all of a sudden:

"**_Shut up_**_!! NOT ALONE!! I WANTED TO SAY THAT I WOULD STAY WITH HIM AND HE'S UNCONSCIOUS, FOR GOD'S SAKE, FUCK, NATSUMI!!!!!!" _Natsumi immediately stopped, her mouth gaping and stared at her red haired friend.

"Oh," was the intelligent reply from the brunette. "That's ok, then." Now was time for Karai to gaping and staring.

"What?"

"You heard me, ne? I said he can stay, but he'd be in room with you and wouldn't leave that room 'till next morning. You can very well just knock him out again, if he will be against it," said Natsumi again.

"Omg, thanks, Natsu, I love you _sooo much!!_" Hidan chose that moment for a painful moan. Karai and Natsumi stared at him and laughed. But then one idea popped in both heads.

_"Who'll bring him in?" _

* * *

(1) In case you dunno, colgate is toothpaste. That's why his teeth were so white. Kukuku.  
(2) That part was from Sheltie's 'Our lil' Christmas'. I borrowed it.

* * *

**So, now, Karai, I hope you liked it, although there wasn't much Hidan x you, for which I'm sorry, I just couldn't type anything like 'And Hidan kissed–', you know. I'm sorry again, this was just a small present for you as thanks for your friendship. To others – just one question: Who of you actually like Hidan? **

**Sheltie'****s note:**** So, I corrected some mistakes (this time no ****runned**** has appeared lol), but neither I am a prodigy- so yes, kill us... baka... runned away, lol Just get used to fillers! grin Thanks, Okami! **


	4. Filler II: White surprises by Okami

**_Author note:_**** How had I ended up typing this? I was having a meeting with Sheltie at my place and we were all like "OMG! I lost!" (1) and we were also making an X-Mas present for our other friends – she was making an Akatsuki T-Shirt for Karai aaaaaannnnd A. shirt is as you all know – pitch black with red clouds which are encircled in white. But, that creepy red wasn't visible. We had to paint all clouds white and _then _paint it red. So when she let some of white color drop on my parquet, I said her: "You can very well just lick it from my floor." And she didn't like it, three guesses why and two don't count. But then I imagined how Hizashi would react, if he caught her red-handed licking something _white _from the parquet... So, this was when I almost died laughing and decided I would just type it to her. And, as always, I also decided to bother you with this insanity... Wow, this was long... I'm sorry!! **

**_Warnings: _****Het, A/U, OOC-ness (I dunno, in manga Hizashi wasn't much mentioned, anyway...). **

**_Disclaimer: _****Hizashi is not mine, he's Sheltie's, Naruto is Kishi's (yet still, but not for very long, ku ku ku), Sasuke is mine (complains??), Itachi can't be mine 'cause of Karai, although she borrows me him from time to time and Hidan... Don't ask, he just isn't mine. Don't sue me, I honestly stole them from that freak Kishi... **

-

**_Filler II.: White surprises_**  
(unedited version)

-

_by Okami_

-

_Okami's room, Sheltie and she painting on a T-Shirt _

"OMG! That would be awesome! Just imagine that!" exclaimed Sheltie, Okami jumped mile high and screamed:

"What the fuck?! What would be awesome? You scared the shit out of me!"

"Shut up! I just got an idea for my fic! (2)" yelled at her the other girl.

"What idea?" asked the redhead and Sheltie looked at her.

"Um... You know, I will give there one chapter only about me and Hizashi," smirked the brunette. Okami's jaw dropped.

"What?" it wasn't very intelligent question and she knew it. But, with Sheltie you could never be sure.

"Like fillers in Naruto anime, you know. And I think I'll also write one 'bout you and Sasuke and Karai and Hidan and – yuk, no Karai and Hidan, gross..." Okami nodded.

"Yeah, but I think I can handle it. I'll write for you an Karai x Hidan one-shot... Then again, it's Hidan... Ok, I'll do it."

"Thank you SOOO MUCH!!" Sheltie winked at the redhead and continued with painting, when Okami asked something what caused her to raise her head from the shirt.

"Um, when will Hizashi come – I lost – arrive?"

"Yeah, me too. He told me about... Half past seven..." Okmai nodded; Sasuke could handle Naruto that long. Guys were in a kitchen and arguing again... Or, still, if you want.

* * *

_Half past seven, Okami's room again _

Sheltie's cell phone suddenly rang and both girls jumped mile high. What neither of them noticed was that Sheltie dropped some of the white color on parquet. When Shel hung up, the other girl asked:

"Hizashi? Should I send Sasuke for him?" Sheltie cocked an eyebrow.

_Sasuke would do what she tells him? Creepy... _Anyway, she nodded and watched the redhead leaving the room, then heard some yelling and Okami was back with victorious grin on her face.

"Hizashi is practically here, now."

After a few minutes of waiting someone knocked at the door and opened them.

"Sheltie!"

"Hizashiii!!!" the brunette jumped on him immediately – not that he was against it – and they started kissing. Okami just rolled her eyes, thinking about why Sasuke had to be such a cold bastard. When the couple stopped and broke for oxygen, Hizashi let his little girlfriend go and said:

"I'll be in a kitchen with guys, ok? Good job, by the way!" added he at the end, pointing at the T-Shirt.

"Thanks, now go, go. With you nearby Sheltie can't fully concentrate on what she's doin'," smirked Okami. Hizashi left and the girls decided they'd finish the shirt and let it dry.

* * *

_After about an hour _

"What the hell are you doing?!" screamed Sheltie and yanked the shirt from confused Okami.

"What's your goddamn problem? I just wanted to put it on the heater, fuck! It will dry faster!!"

"Oh, just give it to me – I lost – but anyway, I will take it home when me and Hizashi will be leaving, dattebayo!" The redhead gave up.

"Whatever. What-so-fuckin'-ever." Then she noticed the white stain on the parquet.

"Ohh, you're so fuckin' dead..." whispered she and Sheltie looked at her suspiciously.

"What?" Okami pointed her finger at the white blur on the floor.

"Remember what I said? That you'll _lick _that from my parquet!!!" Sheltie gasped, but then decided she'd play the game with her friend and kneeled down to the smudge to pretend that she's really going to lick it. Just when she was about to do it, Hizashi opened the door and stared at Sheltie.

"What - are you – doin'?" Sheltie just stared back at him her tongue stretched, Okami almost died from laughing so hard and Sasuke and Naruto behind Hizashi's back sweatdropped. Then Hizashi noticed it was something _white _what she was about to lick and the dirty thoughts immediatley appeared in his mind. When he grabbed Sheltie's hand and yanked her from the floor, everybody just stared at him with their mouth gaped open. And when he started kissing her on her neck, muttering something about "How could you, you dirty little girl," Sasuke and Okami thought that it would be a good idea to leave the couple alone in the room. Everybody left the bedroom silently, closing the door behind them and sighed, with only one word in their minds. Or, two, if you want.

_"Oh, fuck!" _

* * *

_After about half of an hour later _

"Naruto, I think Mutti will be worried if you won't go home soon," stated Okami and shifted, looking for better position while sitting in Sasuke's lap.

"Mutti??" Naruto's eyes bulged out of his head.

"Oh, you don't know... Saniika is something like my mother and she likes German, so she's Sheltie's and my Mutti, you know..." Naruto nodded.

"I see... But, you're right, I'll have to go... Sakura-chan will kill me if I get lost or something..."

"Sasuke will go down with you, ok?" (3) The Uchiha grumbled angrily.

"Why me again? Why not you?"

"You would let a lady to go this late and on top of that alone through this creepy block?" Okami pouted and gave him her best puppy eyes. Sasuke sighed and shoved her off him.

"C'mon, dobe. We hafta go..."

* * *

_In the bedroom _

"Ya heard it? C'mon, let's begin!" whispered Sheltie and Hizashi nodded. He wasn't very fond of Sheltie's idea, but he also knew it would be a real problem to say 'no'. She wouldn't have liked it and that would be dangerous for him. Not that he was so badly against her idea, but still... the consequences bothered him. Anyway he went to her, locked his eyes with hers and kissed her gently. Both of them closed their eyes and Sheltie wrapped her hands around the Hyuuga's neck. Not that they weren't enjoying kissing, they just did it for some reason and this reason was somewhat destroying the needed atmosphere. But when Hizashi removed his hand from its position _on _her shirt and let it go _under _her shirt, Sheltie couldn't help but real moan emitted her lips just in that moment when Okami was standing in front of the door. They broke for oxygen, both of them slightly panting and blushing.

"You think we can stop, now?" asked Hizashi.

"We can – but, I have to be sure. Just a little while longer," panted she. Hizashi nodded and started giving her hot kisses along her jaw line. _This night will be long. Very long... _

_

* * *

_

_Meanwhile in the kitchen... _

Okami smirked, left the kitchen and headed towards her bedroom. She stopped abruptly near the door and stared at the piece of innocent wood. From behind were emitting some moans and pants. Okami blushed, stunned at what she heard and walked away thinking about how she would have to sleep with Sasuke in her parents' bedroom and Itachi on couch as always. Just – Karai and Hidan would have to stay a little bit lonegr at Natsumi's. The redhead grabbed her cell phone and called Itachi's number.

_"Yes? What do you want?" _

"Be polite or you'll end up as a homeless..." threatened Okami. "I want for you to go to Natsu's and say Karai and Hidan that it's really not necessary to go home, 'cause they wouldn't have the place where to sleep anyway." After Itachi heard this, he smirked and hung up. Okami merely sighed. _So troublesome. _Then the redhead smirked. _This night will long, very long... _

_

* * *

_

_In the bedroom _

Sheltie sheepishly giggled and Hizashi looked at her with cocked eyebrows.

"Why was this necessary?"

"'Cause she'd insist that she already _has _enough people here with Itachi, Karai and hidan and this was the only way to let that T-Shirt rest peacefully on the heater – while we'd be sleeping." Hizashi shook his head.

"But now, they'll think I'm a pedophile, 'cause she'll tell it to others, ne?"

"No, she's not that stupid..." Sheltie cracked her knuckles and smirked evily. "She'll just make fun of me... Maybe..." Hizashi visibly paled. Sometimes, he was really afraid of his little girlfriend. Sheltie ignored him, opened Okami's wardrobe, grabbed two large shirts and threw one of them at Hizashi. She got changed and asked:

"We gonna sleep or what?"

_

* * *

_

(1) Just read the 'Roommates' and 'Blood and Tears' from FastForward. Great SasuNaru fic. Or you can ask me on the meaning.  
(2) Um, 'Our lil' Christmas', btw, read it, it's so insane that it's good.  
(3) I have door to outside working on some kind of magnetic key. So everytime someone wants to go out or in, you have to go down and open that damned doors.

_

* * *

_

**Now, after Sheltie read the original, she aksed me for 'unedited or lemon version', call it whatever you want. This was a try for something like that. I know it's not lemon, so I call it 'unedited version'. Cool, ne? sweatdrop **

**Sheltie's note: well, I'm pretty sure that when I finished this, it was the first time I actually blushed. And _very_ badly... sweatdrop  
**


	5. Filler III: Our Cake

**_Filler III.: Our cake_**

-

_Sheltie's note:__ Well, this is the real Christmas present for Okami. Enjoy it; unlike you, I won't be doing sequels... _

_Disclaimer:__ We should let Okami have Sasuke at least, but he isn't mine nor yours so anyhow we would try we aren't gonna succeed. He is still Kishi's. _

* * *

_Tuesday evening, at Okami's place, after Naruto left: _

This day wasn't really enjoyable to Okami. It was Tuesday already and they had had only a week to accomplish their troublesome mission. And on top of that; the Christmas Eve will be in four days.

Only because of that she was standing there in front of her cupboard deciding what she should do first. The girl was almost desperate; almost _regretting_ that her father now wasn't around. _Yes, that's nice that we are gonna be together with girls at Christmas, but I just can't leave all the work to Saniika and Shel. I don't wanna cook either, but... Ah whatever, let's just make something and get over with it._

As for a help Sasuke entered the kitchen.

"Hi. Whatcha doin' in here? And why I haven't seen you to go home?" asked the raven while he filled the glass with water and then sat down to the chair.

"Well, maybe I was just lost in thoughts and forgot to greet you..." Okami sweatdropped. It wasn't like he was going to believe this lame excuse of her. He cocked an eyebrow - the sign she had to explain.

"Oh good, if it must be... I was thinking about the Christmas dinner, cookies and so. I should prepare something too, but I don't have an idea what to do. In our family father was the cook, even better than mother. And now **I** have to do it all myself... Of course that is no problem, I just don't feel like doing it."

"Maybe I can help you."

Silence.

"Help me? How? You can cook?" the redhead asked surprised, almost not believing it.

"Actually no, but... I can cook one cake. Wanna give it a try?"

"Oh, sure..." she was really startled and therefore didn't muse about it yet, though it wasn't **that** unpredictable. Not only woman must know something to survive.

"So prepare please some ingredients... we'll need sugar - crystal and powdered, five eggs, oil, flour and conditioner dough. That should be all." stated Sasuke despite he was sure that he hadn't forgot anything. (1)

"Yes, everything checked," answered Okami, relief evident in her voice. There was no desire she stored for going out to that coldness outside only for some... damn trifle like conditioner dough.

"So, that's all for the dough. The stuffin'. Uhm... sugar again, then butter and milk, another eggs, fruits, rum and chocolate. Got it all? If we miss anything, I can still run to the shop..."

"No, I mean... it's all here I guess. How many eggs afterall?"

"Eight it is."

"Good..." there was a short pause before she spoke again, "I think - will it be enough for all of us? You know our girls... OMG, they are actually worse than you guys, how troublesome..." sighed she. "Well, when are we gonna start then?"

Okami sat down beside him, listening carefully. She never thought that Sasuke could cook, but she never pondered upon it really. Now the cake was baking in the oven and they were sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for it to be ready for other arrangements and chatting. Or better to say that Sasuke led a monologue, but she really listened to him and also kept a watch of a cake.

"I've learned it from my brother when I was little. I was forbidden to enter to kitchen when mother cooked or baked something, especially when it was some feast and everyone was in there. There was a strong probability that I would get hurt, so I usually stayed in my room. Although once during the Christmas holidays I got thirsty so I went into the kitchen. It was a late evening and I should had been sleeping, so when I saw there was Itachi too, I decided not to interfere. But then I saw what he was doing actually. He poured the flour into the bowl, then put some conditioner dough and then looked at me. I was frozen at the spot, quite terrified, but he only silently called to me. He told me that he was making a cake and if I want he would teach me how to do it too. And I agreed; you know, anything just not gonna sleep..." he laughed silently, yet somewhat awkwardly. He wasn't used to smile when other people were around, in fact he wasn't used to it at all. It was also slightly confusing to see that the girl smiled sympathetically, almost as if she knew that feeling.

And she knew it of course, but Sasuke desperately lacked people skills. (2)

"You know what? It may be ready by now... Let's finish it and then go sleep. It's... oh my! It about a quarter to ten already! Fuck!!!" exclaimed she after looking at the clock.

Sasuke sighed, went to the oven and took the cake out. It wasn't even burnt as would be expected if it was done in Sheltie's oven; it was almost flawless.

"Agree. Let's stuff it and go sleep."

"My legs ache from how we were sitting at the creepy floor when doing that creepy fuckin' Akatsuki cloak..." (3) whined she.

"And what was the other girl doin' _with_ the floor back then, anyways?"

"Oh, that? She was about to lick that _white stuff_ off the floor when you came to the room... besides, I lost, man." she giggled and looked at him.

"Well I don't wanna know what is _this_ about..."

"But I would explain it gladly," smirked she. _Really gladly._ He sighed.

"Well then, here ya go."

"Well, it conceived one of our friends... from Canada. It's the game that has no meaning at all and you lost it anytime you think about it. You say 'I lost' and everyone have lost with you as well because they have to recall it. And you lost also... when you think about something... perverted."

"Oh, I see. That's your case I bet."

"Yes. I lost."

"Me too."

Silence.

"What?!"

"You heard it; I lost. You know... Well..." he scratched the back of his head hesitantly.

Okami just stared at him. She couldn't say it for sure, but she was blushing. And also... she had somewhat insecure feeling that because of **her**... Sasuke was blushing too... and that encouraged her, anyhow uncertain it could be. She leaned an inch forward, but Sasuke backed, startled. He hadn't done anything like this **ever**, hell!!! She didn't give up yet though, leaned closer for another inch and when he retreated once again, she grabbed his cheek and crushed their lips together.

She was kissing him hungrily, after a while Sasuke even closed his eyes and let her tongue slip into his mouth. Well, he'd never done this, but he neither found it so hard.

And neither was she going to slip her chance to have the man of her dreams, unless...

"Yare yare," the heavy, yet smooth voice echoed (4) through the kitchen, frightening the boy endlessly and he yanked abruptly, causing Okami to bite his lip. He let out a yelp and sat straight on his chair, turning away to hide his flushed face and licked his bruised lip.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke! I didn't mean to hurt you! I'm sorry... You idiot!" she then focused on his elder brother, "what **the HELL are you THINKING** to rush in here **all of sudden** when we..."

"When you what?" asked he, calm and collected as ever, but the impish smirk tugging corners of his mouth up.

"Just **FUCK the hell OFF**!!!"

"You forgot the vanilla sugar, lil' brother." He then turned and headed back to the living room, closing the door behind him. At least noone could see the satisfied **smile** written in his features when he lay down on the coach. _At least **he** won't be all alone his entire life... _

* * *

1) Prodigism!!! Hate him as much as I do!!! But he actually forgot something... kukuku...  
2) Or it was something like this, bear with me and my non-english English lol. I remember this surely-not-right word from one of Sarge's fics...  
3) To all: Okami wasn't even helping me! She only threatened that I will lick the _'white stuff'_ off the floor!!!  
4) Shannaro!!! Itachi's voice echoes everywhere!!! 

_Author's note:__ So much about the Tuesday evening. Be the fuck happy or else I'm gonna rip your intestines out! I wrote you fuckin' **kissing** your Sasuke! Do you even realize what the pain in the ass it was?! I've **never** written something alike and... L&G, I've never kissed anyone else than my family!!!  
(Shel back in 'normal') Oh good, I'm glad that I finished it. I was working on this about a week... So noch ein mal bitte, I hope you like it, Ookami. You are welcome. Honestly. Bye! _


	6. Filler IV: That's why I like you

**_Filler IV.: That's why I like you_**

-

_Authoress' note:__ This have to be part of Saniika's Christmas present. Love you, Saniika! _

_Disclaimer:__ They are Kishi's till we steal them. Honestly. We have Sarge on our side ;P _

* * *

_Tuesday afternoon, at Saniika's place: _

"So, what are we gonna dine?" asked Saniika after she gathered the last of her artist stuff away from the small kitchen table. Kisame and Sakura were waiting in the living room meanwhile cuz the size of the kitchen, sitting on the sofa and watching their host.

"Well, what about some bread with something? I'm sick of the ramen already and Naruto isn't here for once," offered Sakura, quite happy that they don't have to eat noodles.

"Yes, great idea. What would you want? Cheese? Ham?" asked Saniika again, but then sighed and said: "I'll prepare it and then bring it to the room, there is more space. Some special wishes?"

"No."

"Good. So, wait for me... for meal. It will be right there," informed raven girl and started to cut the bread to slices. _Hehe, KisaSaku rulzzz... Geez Saniika! What are you thinking about? **No** KisaSaku! Kisame is mine... Well, he isn't yet, but he **will** be soon!!! I can do it! When I am nice enough... there is a chance! Take it! _

They were sitting on the sofa and chewed their food silently. Itachi called some time before, announcing that Sheltie nullified the dinner at hers because she'd stayed at Okami's and thus they had to eat alone. They didn't mind - especially when they don't have to eat ramen.

"Don't you know when Naruto is going to get back?" asked Sakura a bit hesitantly. "Because if he isn't here soon, I'm going to leave. I wanted to go shopping with Hinata if you don't mind."

"Nah, go if you want. Of course we are not gonna keep you locked here. But do me a favor: please don' get lost. It would be just too troublesome to seek you in the night in this creepy city," replied Saniika.

"Don't worry. I will be alright. If I'm not here in the morning, I'm at Hinata's," reassured she as she stood up of the sofa. She then took some things needed for spending money just like wallet, greeted and left the house.

Saniika finished her bread as well and then sat at her shiny new computer, surfing the internet and not really paying attention to the world around her. It was only when Kisame spoke to her when she got her consciousness outta the highly addictive net, stunned.

"Why am I on the almost every one picture on your notice-board?"

"Oh, that is..." she didn't know what to say; she wasn't aware that he'd sat beside her nor that he examined her whole room... and nor that she forgot to hang the pictures of him down when ninjas came. (1) They were clipped on all around her little workplace, from small sketches to the huge master-pieces. Some of them were KisaSaku, on the other one was Deidara hugging Itachi, drawn by Okami, one was the young Kisame from Sheltie, another were mostly from Saniika herself. There was also the 'Skip-beat' manga poster and some postcards, but the shark-man clearly dominated in this household. (2)

"Eto..." she scratched the back of her head, "What? I just have my favorite character exposed in front of me when working... Is it that bad?"

"Not really... I only wanted to know why it is **me** on the pictures," reasoned blue Akatsuki.

"You don't get it? Komisch..." (3) laughed Saniika awkwardly. Kisame shot her an enquirer glance, (4) so she continued: "Well, nobody liked the Shark-guy from Naruto - everyone loved the other freaks; Karai loves Itachi and Hidan, Sheltie likes that Sasori or what, Okami sucks for Deidara and they say that Tobi is so dumb that it's cute and the Leader is cool... Kakuzu and Zetsu aren't important, the first one because he isn't in the 'Fun with Akatsuki' and the second one just isn't important, but Kisame - you that is - was in the every other picture with Itachi and Itachi was really popular... And they didn't want to believe that..." she blushed when she thought about what was she gonna say, "...that he could be... sexy..."

She thought she couldn't be redder and Kisame almost didn't believe his ears, but she hadn't ended yet: "So I wanted to prove them wrong and I swore that I **can** draw sexi Kisame. So I drawn him- **you**!" she squeaked and realized that it isn't good idea to show him his sexi alter-ego (5), and she almost dropped dead when she also realized what she just told him. Instead she kept alive, shut up and turned around.

"So, you upheld for me?" asked Kisame after few seconds.

"Uhm, something like that... You know, I thought that you don't have to be such a cold bastard that Itachi is. You were... kinda cute to me, and after two other fanfictions (6) I changed my mind completely. I started to like you back then even when I didn't know you personally. That applies on all of us though," Saniika desperately tried to explain, but Kisame still had a face betraying nothing. _Too much time with that frigid knob..._ sighed the girl inwardly.

"You are my favorite character. I like you. I don't mind if you are blue or have gills. I like you and you are here with me, so..." she trailed off when she realized that she don't know how to finish this sentence. Kisame stared at her amazed, too many thoughts in his mind. He managed to grab one of them though and the next second he was hugging her tightly. Tightly? Yes, **very** tightly.

Saniika let out a squeak and Kisame eased his hold on her, raven still panting, yet smiling.

"You have very firm grip, man."

"I try. Ya aren't hurt, ne?"

"I will live," was her last statement before she snuggled to him. Kisame just took a mental note to be gentler next time and shut the computer off. This night will be long, very long.

* * *

1) Yes, I lost again. Can't help it...  
2) You really should see it...  
3) Deutsche Sprache!!! Something between 'witty' and 'amusing'.  
4) Originally it was "Kisame raised his eyebrow-" but I scratched that because Kisame has no eyebrows... lol  
5) She does have it on DeviantArt: deviantart .com/ deviation/ 42609184/ (remove spaces)  
6) Selandora's '**Never ending rainfall**' and DeGlace's '**Uneasy coexistence**'. Read them! 

_Authoress' note:__ Merry Christmas, Mutti! I hope you like it, because as much as I was looking forward to type it, as hard it was to do actually. I'm glad that it's over once again sweatdrop. I'm sorry. And a lil' note: I know that this end is kinda creepy. I really didn't know how to finish it, I'm almost crying by now (not really though). _

_Oh, and I hope it wasn't very OOC since I haven't seen Mutti for... OMG, two weeks?! Thanks God that we have a meeting today... Stretká rulezzz!!! (Sorry for EN speakers... hehe)_


End file.
